a88lefty

11:17 am: School Almost Over
So as the title says school is almost over. This semester I have discovered so many things about the world and the people in it. And some things I found that just never change. I'm supposed to be going somewhere with my roomie and our boss to get the sacristan stoles, but I don't think I want to go anymore. I should start studying and get working on some things. I have to write a paper, and study for my accounting test. Alright I think I will get started on that now.

12:10 am: Just Writing
I'm just in a writing mood today I guess. Lots of things swirling in my mind. I have been recognizing flaws in myself, well actually just one in particular. Anyway I just want to know that people I care for really care about me. I know my best friend, Jen does. But I just don't know about this one person in particular. It just bothers me. Yea that is all I wanted to write about it for now.

04:46 pm: Its Been Awhile
Yea so I find that I forget to update. Well lots have happened in the past few months. But this weekend is going to be awesome!! On Saturday OK Go is coming here to LMU!! I can't wait to see them! Anyway my radio show is going quite well. Heres the link to listen http://www.live365.com/stations/kxlu3?site=pro abd I'm on every Friday night from 6-8 pm. Its always fun and I always look forward to Fridays. Yea life is good right now even though at times it has its low points. Random thought, I love Silversun Pickups! They are awesome!

10:58 am: Last Entry Of 2006
I haven't been on here forever. Well actually lately I haven't been going online that much since I have been at home. This year has been a crazy one. I learned so many things about people and myself. I also added a lot of things to my DM collection. I also learned a lot about friends and the friends who are truly there for you. Plus starting college this year, I absolutely love college life. One of the best things that I'm grateful for is my radio show. It is the one thing I look forward to at the end of the week. Plus I can play whatever music I want. Now something really random. In some movies certain characters have their own background music. If I were to chose a song for my background music for me walking down the street it would defintely have to be KT Tunstall's Suddenly I See. I love that song! I still love DM though but that song is my happy song, lol. Alright for the New Years I hope to cut back on soda, not completely but maybe cut back to once a week or once every two weeks. Also to just be me and try to live life to the fullest. Well we will see. Can't wait for the new year because it is a new start!

07:13 pm: Worst Feeling In The World
I don't think there is anything worse than a good friend pretending you don't exist. It sucks because I still wanted to be friends with that person. Then they stab you in the back again. Who in their right mind goes to the bathroom and then doesn't come out? Don't little kids do that? It sucks if you ask me. I felt so hurt and usually when something like this happens I want to do something to hurt that person, I only do it because I care about them and it sucks when they hurt you. But I decided that this person isn't worth it anymore. Usually I don't kick people out of my life. As of now I have one person kicked out of my life, that was only because he was a danger to me and himself. But I would still talk to him if he called me. There is also one other person but I will get over it eventually, maybe the next time he calls I'll answer. That is about it. I mean I'll still talk to people if they want to talk to me, so technically I don't have anyone kicked out of my life. But this particular person, will be kicked out. The only way I'll talk to him again is if he is truly sorry for everything. But he is so hard headed that it won't happen. So that is that..

12:24 pm: AAAHHH!!!!!
I haven't realized how long I have neglected my poor LJ! Well I'm back and I'm writing. Yea life was great and then like any life it always goes downhill once in a while. It is like one crazy fucking roller coaster. Yea so right now I feel like I am going crazy. I'm letting little things get the best of me. I guess it is because I don't have someone who I can tell my feelings to. I used to but now I don't I try talking to other people but then they start lecturing me or they don't care. Plus then they think I'm being irrational. Oh well maybe I am but I can't help the way certain things have shaped me. But whatever, I am who I am and I think the way I think. I just need someone to understand.

09:58 am: I Hadn't Realized!!!
The last time I updated this was to say that I was going on vacation! Well my vacation this year was crazy and fun all in one. Saw lots of Buffalo and walmarts LOL. Then summer came quickly to an end even though I anticipated the start of school! College is definitly the best EVER!! I have so many friends and I feel like I belong here. Me and my roomate Desiree get along as if we have been good friends for a long time. We just need to work on keeping our room clean and going to bed before 12 >_< But we go to all the events and get free food. Who doesn't love food? So from eating a lot I do not want to gain any unwanted pounds so I go to the rec center and workout. I went this past Tuesday to the CTB class (core, thighs, butt). That was the most extensive workout I have ever done. My legs literally hurt untill Friday. It was crazy and the instructor saw that I was over working my body and that I had to take a rest. It was crazy. Anyway yesterday was a great day. I went with my friend Carina around campus to take pictures. We took so really amzing pictures and we saw all the wonders around campus. we saw the whole city and even the hollywood sign. The only thing that I still need to see is the sunset across the water from the bridge. I can't wait for that. But it has to be on a nice clear day and not by myself. Maybe if I have time I could upload some of the pictures. I find myself not uploading pictures on photobucket anymore because I can directly upload to my facebook which is a thousand times easier. How I love facebook! Ok enough of that for now. Well I'm off my home today because it is my dad's birthday today. So spending time with the family and then doing homework which is never fun but it has to be done and I have lots to do like reading. Alright I'm going to pack up my stuff and hopefully my mom will be here soon because I really want a double double from In-n-Out LOL

09:28 am: Vacation Time!
Going on vacation to Montana and going to Yellowstone and I won't be back for a week!! I'm so glad I finally get some time off and time to relax!!!!

10:05 pm: Life
Life is actually really good, I have all my friends and I got to see the Bangles yesterday! But I have been feeling really different lately. I don't know if it is being caused by the weather or my job but something is happening. I think it could just also be life catching up with me. I just need to figure this all out soon.

11:43 am: For My Good Friend Jen
I believe I have told you this but I'm not too sure. But I'll say it again, when all of us would hang out I really wanted to be like you. I guess thats why I would treat you with disrespect because I guess I was jealous of you. I wanted people to like me as they liked you. Stooge you are still my friend and you probablly won't ever know how much you mean to me. You have changed me into a much better person. If it weren't for you I wouldn't have met half the people I do now, plus I wouldn't have ever joined youth group. You made me realize that I had to change for the better for people to like me. You can probablly say that I'm too nice to people now and that I give people so many chances. I only give people a lot of chances because you gave me so many. But everytime you said we wouldn't be friends ever again I thought that I screwed up my last chance and sometimes you said that you wouldn't give me another chance and that made me want to change myself and when you would give me another chance I thought it was only fair to let other people have anthoer chance. I was talking to one of my friends last night on AIM and he was talking to me about real friends. I first thought of you and Juan because I really believed you two were my real friends. But I know for sure Juan isn't. I still believe you are my real friend. I would almost anything for you Jen because you really mean a lot to me. You know you can always call me when you want to talk. From your previous entries I figure you don't want to talk thats why I'm communicating to you through this entry. But I'll always be here for you and I'll always believe in you. You will always be my friend and will always stay forever in my heart.

05:24 pm: I Thought This Was Great
Took it from a bulletin on myspace

[[♥]]AS WE [GROW UP] ,

WE [LEARN] THAT EVEN

THE ONE [PERSON] THAT

WASN'T [SUPPOSE] TO EVER

LET YOU [DOWN] PROBLY

WiLL. YOU [WiLL] HAVE

YOU HEART BROKEN PROBLY

MORE THEN [ONCE] AND

iT'S [HARDER] EVERY TiME.

YOU'LL BREAK HEARTS TOO,

SO [REMEMBER] HOW iT

[FELT] WHEN YOUR WAS

BROKEN. YOUR'LL [FiGHT] WiTH

YOUR BEST FRiEND. YOU'LL

BLAME A NEW [LOVE]

FOR THING AN [OLD]

ONE DiD. YOU'LL [CRY]

BECAUSE TiME iS [PASSiNG]

TOO [FAST], AND YOU'LL

EVENTUALLY [LOSE] SOMEONE YOU

LOVE. SO TAKE TOO

MANY [PiCTURES], LAUGH TOO

MUCH, AND [LOVE] LiKE

YOU'VE NEVER BEEN [HURT]

BECAUSE EVERY [SiXTY SECONDS]

YOU SPEND [UPSET] iS

A MiNUTE OF [HAPPiNESS]

YOU'LL NEVER GET BACK

[[♥]]

10:50 pm: The Big 18 Tomorrow!!
Today was pretty fun even though the plans changed and we didn't get to go to disneyland. Went to Mikey's house where he had a bar-b-que for me with a few friends. It was fun. But tomorrow is my birthday and I can't wait!!

12:07 pm: Busy Busy
Alright haven't updated in a while. Been really busy lately. Well lets start with prom, it was great fun. Pictures are up on my myspace but I'll post some on here when I get some more time. Then had some tests for school and I read the storyteller in one day. Then on the 1st was GRAD NITE!! That was tons of fun! Jhen was my riding buddy. But the only thing I hated about that night was that stupid stupid line for space mountain! I almost passed out from going back and forth and zig zagging through that damn line. But after that we went on it's a small world so that made me calm down, lol. But the best ride was the mattahorn!! We also went on the jungle cruise, the tea cups, merry go round, and the flying dumbo ride. I was so surprised I didn't fall asleep or get really tired when I was there. I really thought I was. Even on the bus ride home I didn't take a quick nap. But I did sleep a lot when I got home. So later that night went to the baccalaureate mass. Then the next day Saturday was GRADUATION!!!! It was so hot that day but luckily where I was sitting had shade. Then this past week was fun as well. On Monday I hung out with Eric, Tuesday I hung out with Megan, Ashley, Theresa, and Jhen at black angus. Then went to the movies with Ashley, Joe and their friend Nathan. We saw the Da Vinci Code, I never knew that it was such a loooong movie!! I almost got bored watching it =P Then on Wednesday hung out with Mikey. Then Thrusday woke up really early to go to orientation at LMU. I was tired the whole day but it was fun because at the end of the day was a little party for all of us. I meet a lot of new people and I can't wait to go to college! But the next day was some what stressful because we had to pick classes and our group was one of the last to register. But the classes I got weren't that bad. Then got home around 5 on Friday, then me, James and Mikey all went out. Then Saturday played volleyball with youth group then went to Eric's house because they were having a graduation party for him and his sister. Then after me and my family went to go and eat dinner. Then Sunday went to the damn flea market at the rose bowl. I thought it wa a great idea when I first suggested it but I didn't realize how BIG it was!!!!!! But I bought two depeche mode records. One was the single leave in silence and the other was the album black celebration. Then after that got lunch at costco then went shopping with my mom and bro. Then went to church then went to the farewell dinner for Preston who was visited the church for a year. He was awesome and I'm going to miss him but in two years he will become a priest and I wish him all the best of luck. Then after that a few of us went to Mikey's house. We played hide and go seek in his house with all the lights out and it was so crazy because he has a creepy old haunted house. Yea so I have been really busy. Today I have to write thank you cards, clean my room and my car. Plus I might go out today but I'm not too sure yet. I can't wait untill the end of the week though!!!! This Friday Mikey and Jacob are taking me to Disnayland for my birthday! and this Saturday I will be 18!!!!!!!!! YAY-UH!!!! I can not wait! Yea so I must start on my chores now but I'll be back!

05:23 pm: I Though This Was Cool
Directions:
Put your music player on shuffle.
Press forward for each question.
Use the song title as the answer to the question.
No cheating!

How are u feeling today?
Go With The Flow

Will u get far in life?
Chipz In Black

How do ur friends see u?
We Like To Party

What's ur theme song?
Dead Man's Party

What is the story of ur life?
This Fire

What are u like in bed?
Bat Country

How can u get ahead in life?
Un Monde Parfait

what is ur best feature?
Strangelove

How is tomorrow going to be?
Who's Gonna Save Us?

What u hopeing for this weekend?
Gold Lion

What is ur life like at the moment?
Billie Jean

What song describes ur secrets?
Rhythm Of The Night

What is ur current lover like?
I'll Be

What song will they play at ur funeral?:
Torn

What song will they play at ur wedding?
Precious

How does the world see u?
Electric Avenue

Will u have a happy life?
Southside

What do ur friends really think of u?
My Sharona

Do people secretly lust after u?
I Ran

Will u accomplish ur goals in life?
Wings Of a Butterfly

Will u find true love?
What's My Age Again?

How do u treat others?
Dragostea Din Tei

03:56 pm: Problem Resolved
Yea so I got a ride, I'm just soo glad that I got it finally taken care of.

09:55 pm: In Response To Jen's Entry
You know Jen Karma does get around. It has been happening to me this whole damn week. If you want to know what it is here it is, I don't have a ride to prom, my parents can't take me because they won't be home, they won't let me drive myself and people's limos and cars are full. Yea I'm screwed unless I figure out something quick. Plus I also learned who really gives a damn about me. Obviously not a lot of people. On the surface people can seem so nice but they really aren't, all they care about is their damn selves. I guess that is where I learned it, to care only about myself. Something I didn't want to be but am. I admit it I am, and yea Jen you are right about me playing the victim. I guess I do all the time. It sucks being left behind though, by fucking everyone!! Yea I think I'm not sane anymore......

Just feel proud of yourself

05:59 pm: Great Weekend
So the AP exams were draining. The field trip the day after was neat except it got hot during the day. Then Friday was Bosco's prom. Me and Mikey and lots of fun. Then Saturday we went to Carl's jrs since we couldn't go on Friday. Then Sunday sold flowers for youth group after every mass. But inbetween the masses we played volleyball. After playing with teams me and Mikey played one on one and I won! PLus I also got some sun so maybe by Saturday for prom I will look tan instead of a nasty pale color. Yep plus Mikey is going to tell me something on saturday, I can't wait it is just going to be so much FUN!!

04:30 pm: AAAAAAHHHH
AP exams tomorrow, Chem and Psych, must study study study!!!!!!!! AAAAAH SO MUCH INFORMATION TO PROCESS!!!!!!!! I just hope I'm not brain dead tomorrow

05:51 pm: An Update Is Needed
I can't believe I haven't updated this in awhile now. I'm always on here too, I just guess I have been either too busy or lazy. Spring break was great but crappy at the end because me and Jen got into the biggest fight ever. This time it is for sure that we won't be friends anymore. Also this past weekend I helped out with the confirmation retreat for my parish. It was a lot of fun for me, I know that some of the teens didn't want to be there but I made it fun for them. Also on the retreat I did some major thinking about everything, especially things about Juan and Jen. Mostly about Jen and how I have treated her. But it is best now that we aren't friends anymore. As for Juan he leaves me everytime we start talking again. Leaves both me and Jen. But at least last week God sent me a little miracle, my little kitten Minnie. She looks exactly like my cat except less fluffy. She makes my day better whenever I'm down. Like today for example. I felt so out of place with everyone today. I used to feel at least half way decent at school because I had people who I thought were my friends. But today I felt like I was tossed on the side because I guess I'm taking up space. Certain people who I thought were my friends didn't seem like it today. I thought that for prom I was going to sit with some of my friends. But they were going to put me at the next table, out of the inner circle. I don't know how many times I have been placed at the side, and I am just sick and tired of it. The table was filled up and three couples had to sit together because they are all good friends. I was just thinking to myself what the fuck because Juan used to be my best friend and he is sitting there. But I'm out of the loop and no one gives a crap. I just want to graduate already because people at school or so stupid. People think about their damn selves. I hardly ever say anything at school only because everyone is talking about their selves and I listen to what they fucking have to say all the damn time. But yea the real reason I was mad is the subject of friends. I just feel so left out all the damn time, with everyone. I really feel like a loner because I have no one really. Plus the people I do have have other people. It is understandable though, but I really do feel like a big loser. I try to do so many things about it but I always end up in the same place. Yea so after these thoughts being placed in my head in the middle of school I seriously felt like crying. But I didn't because I don't like people feeling sorry for me, plus whenever people see someone crying then they decide to care. People are supposed to care all the time!! Even at the retreat I didn't want to cry because I didn't want people coming over to me to try to make me feel better. When someone cries you want to cheer them up but it is really hard because you aren't going through what the person is going through. At least I can think of two people in my life besides my family who truly care for me. I'm so glad to know them both. Yea so in short I am super sensitive when it comes to friends. So many people have backstabbed me and today it felt like a few more knives went in.

06:48 pm: YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So today I finally got my acceptance letter to LMU!! Hopefully I'll be going there for college! HEHEHE I am so so so so HAPPY!!!!!